I Built A Midterm Throne And Charged The Candidates For Kneeling
The Dallas convention is a loyalty auction where the merchandise is fear, the admission fee is obedience, and the voters get the receipt.
Satirical dispatches on current events, public power, politics, sports, culture, media, courts, and American institutions.
The Dallas convention is a loyalty auction where the merchandise is fear, the admission fee is obedience, and the voters get the receipt.
Americans no longer trust federal information across major issues. I call that market expansion for whoever owns the loudest lie.
Canada answered Washington with tariffs on American goods, so I turned the border into a cash register that bills workers twice.
An armed rush at an Ohio county fair showed me the finest business model in politics: make public life dangerous, then sell access back through a wall of security.
The ballot was already in the mail, so I made the mailbox prove its loyalty to me.
The White House built an arcade for policy propaganda, and I found the perfect cabinet: a joystick, a scoreboard, and no conscience.
The missiles are real, the fuel bill is real, and I have solved the problem by making the word war optional.
Apple and Google now show Lake America to U.S. map users. I call that a perfect upgrade: reality stays put while obedience gets a software update.
The Supreme Court let White House ballroom construction continue while the lawsuits crawl. I call that separation of powers by completion date.
Michigan Democrats wanted a campaign about prices. Their nominee, party rivals, influencers, donors, and national factions have turned the race into an audition for control of the party.