I Put Childhood On A Meter And Sold The Refund
Meta agreed to a historic settlement over youth social media. I found the perfect price for childhood: whatever leaves the meter running.
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Apple Changed The Nameplate And I Kept The Kingdom
John Ternus became Apple CEO, Tim Cook moved upstairs, and I found the perfect succession plan: change the nameplate while the kingdom keeps billing.
I Turned Tupac Shakur’s Cold Case Into A Content Strategy
A Las Vegas jury convicted Duane Davis after prosecutors used his own interviews and memoir. I call that a thirty-year marketing funnel with a courthouse checkout.
Five Justices Kept My Ballroom On Schedule
The Supreme Court let White House ballroom construction continue while the lawsuits crawl. I call that separation of powers by completion date.
Amazon Invented A Bidder And I Sent It An Invoice
The FTC and 22 states accuse Amazon of using hidden auction machinery to inflate ad prices. I admire any ghost that pays the house.
I Bought Venezuela By The Barrel And Sold America The Receipt
Washington announced control of 65 billion barrels of Venezuelan oil. I converted a distant reserve into an American invoice before the first drill turned.
The Grand Canyon Opened A Collection Agency
A deadly flash flood struck Bright Angel Canyon, and I arrived to monetize the oldest American ritual: ignoring a warning until the bill comes due.
I Put A Tollbooth On The Strait Of Hormuz
Two launchers, one narrow waterway, and a six-month war gave me another chance to invoice the public for danger.
The President Sent Two Words To The Federal Punishment Desk
Kristen Welker called an endorsement record mixed. The president answered with the FCC, because every adjective now needs a federal chaperone.
NASA Launched A Telescope And I Claimed The Darkness
NASA sent the Roman Space Telescope toward deep space to study dark energy, dark matter, and distant worlds. I saw a new frontier and immediately started measuring it for a tollbooth.